by SFT | Jun 9, 2025 | Notes From The Editor
After many months of consistent updates from St Francis Today, we will be stepping away for a few weeks. Life calls elsewhere for a short while, and this means the SFT regular postings on the website and newsletter will be somewhat limited during this time. It’s just a short pause, however, a brief break, so please continue reading for more information.
Let’s be clear: We’re not switching off completely. While SFT may not be able to publish the usual (fairly) consistent flow of news, stories, and images, we will still be keeping an eye on things and quietly tracking what’s happening in and around St Francis Bay.
You’ll still find SFT on social media from time to time, chiming in with the odd post, a quick note, a tongue-in-cheek travel piece or a shared update. So if you have something important or interesting to share, feel free to tag or message us there. SFT may not always reply immediately, but we’ll be listening and monitoring, either on Facebook or Instagram, even though those two platforms give us the heebie-jeebies at times.
A short pause for breath
This is not a farewell, just a short pause for breath. SFT will be back soon, refreshed and ready, just in time for the rigours of full-blown EC winter, and with ice-cold focus and plenty to say. The heart of St Francis Today has always been about staying connected to our quirky little village and warmly eccentric community. That commitment doesn’t stop, even if we’re not physically in town for a little bit.
In the meantime, thank you for your continued support, for reading, sharing, and engaging with what we publish.
Editor – St Francis Today
Further reading/looking: Baviaanskloof Night Skies – Wild Photo Of The Day by Clive Wright Photography
by SFT | Jun 4, 2025 | Notes From The Editor, St Francis
We’re going to Durban, with mixed feelings galore. While St Francis pulls out scarves, sips red wine, and gathers around fires like a wholesome Netflix family, we’ve decided to lean into Durban for surf contest season in the city where June smells like burning rubber, cat wee and samoosas.
Let’s unpack why this particular travel decision doesn’t feel particularly warm.
1. The Weather Is Warm. Emotionally, You Will Not Be.
Yes, it’s warm in winter. Durban smugly puffs out 26°C afternoons while Cape Town is drowning in Atlantic drama. But it’s not a crisp, clean warmth. It’s a sweaty, suspicious warmth that makes you wonder whether the clouds are sweating, too. Take sunscreen, or you’ll be going red by lunchtime.
2. The Ocean’s Lovely – If You Don’t Mind Faeces.
The Indian Ocean is a bath. A warm, brown bath. Often, Durban’s beaches are technically “open,” but keep an eye out for those charming signs that say “Swimming Not Advised – High E. coli Levels”. Nothing gets the adrenaline going like trying to body-surf while mentally calculating how much sewage you’ve just swallowed.
3. The Cockroach Struggle Is Real
Winter in other cities means fewer bugs. Winter in Durban means the cockroaches simply evolve. These aren’t your average creepy crawlies. These are confident, heat-resistant, flying cats that want to eat you.
4. The Local Wildlife Includes Monkeys, Vervets, and the Occasional Escaped Goat
Durban’s monkeys are not cute. They are intelligent, coordinated, and capable of gang operations. If you leave your Airbnb window open, you will return to find them holding a prayer meeting around your Woolworths snacks, wearing your underwear and poohing.
5. There’s Culture – Somewhere Under the Rubbish
Durban has a rich cultural history. Unfortunately, it’s often hidden under layers of plastic bags, decaying beachfront signage, and the vague scent of despair. Somewhere beneath it all, there’s poetry. Apparently.
6. You’ll Save on Entertainment – Because There Isn’t Any
Unless you count watching pensioners fight over margarine at Spar, which is pretty good, or your Uber driver swearing at a taxi, entertainment options are sparse. Nightlife? Only if you count that one place in Florida Road still serving R25 tequila shots in between patrons getting shot. With Guns. Even the cinemas have recently moved to Cape Town.
7. You’ll Learn to Appreciate Other Cities
Honestly, Durban is a brilliant destination – for perspective. You’ll return to St Francis with fresh eyes, whispering things like, “Wow, at least we still have our health.”
8. Witness the Fish Apocalypse
Every winter, Durbanites start buzzing about the Sardine Run like it’s some magical oceanic spectacle. Yes, billions of sardines migrate up the coast, pursued by sharks, dolphins, gannets, and approximately every coastal uncle with a cooler box and a cigarette.
The beaches become scenes of oily chaos: silver fish flopping desperately on the sand while hordes of chubby men in cargo shorts shove pensioners aside to scoop them up by the bucketful. They’re like possessed contestants on a deranged seafood game show that smells like fish curry left in a hot car.
So yes, visit Durban in winter. Pack SPF 50, a sense of humour, your lowest expectations and toilet paper.
Trust me.
The toilet paper situation deserves its own story, so read on, and weep,
You need your own toilet paper in Durban not because toilet paper is unavailable, it’s technically there, but because relying on the public supply is an extreme sport.
Here’s why:
1. Public Bathrooms Exist Mostly in Theory
Finding a public toilet in Durban is unlikely. If you do stumble upon one, it often comes with a handwritten sign that says “No Water” or “Toilet Out of order since 2016.”
2. When It Is There, It’s the Texture of Aluminium and the Strength of a Whisper
Durban’s public toilet paper (where provided) is usually that thin, grey single-ply that feels like tin foil and doesn’t wipe so much as spread.
3. Some Places Operate on a BYO-Tissue Basis
Especially at petrol stations, small cafes, and the more rustic beachside toilets that have an empty roll holder and a cheerful sign suggesting you ask “at the counter.” The ignominy of asking, out loud, in public, is too much.
4. Toilet Paper Is Also Considered a Hot Commodity
In some parts of Durban, a roll of two-ply is currency. Don’t be surprised if someone offers to swap it for a cold Black Label or a half-smoked Styvie red. I just noticed that our vices have colours.
Durban Curry Blow-Out
5. You Just Don’t Want to Be That Person Caught Short
You went in for that power Durban curry man, an all. Then you got bold. You laughed at your local friend’s concern. Now it’s 18 minutes later, and something is going on in your paunch. If you have a full Durban curry blow-out, you’ll need plenty of toilet paper, for dabbing.
Bringing your own toilet paper to Durban is preparation. It’s a small roll of hope in a city that needs hope.
Further reading – St Francis Bay Welcomes The Whales – Various Exciting Happenings 6 – 9 June – Check Out The Info!
by SFT | May 28, 2025 | Notes From The Editor
Sixteen years ago, when we moved to St Francis for good, our son was christened in a building on the corner of the R330 and the Oyster Bay road. It was called The Lucky Bean back then, and it featured a large artwork on the road-facing wall of a lucky bean that, unfortunately, resembled a rather large vagina. (It wasn’t just me, everyone agreed back then).
Lucky Bean
That building has undergone many stages and changes, including the removal of the ‘lucky bean’ logo. On Wednesday night, we found ourselves sitting just a few meters from where we had the christening in the relocated, new-look Twenty-Two Eatery.
As a family and friends, we have always been fans of Nicholas Geerts and his work, so there was no need for us to expect anything less than the best. We weren’t disappointed with the new Twenty-Two Eatery
Seated upstairs, it was warm, cosy and friendly. We had excellent service; the food was quick, the waiter was attentive, and our drinks needs were serviced. I selected a Hawaiian pizza (R135), while my wife and son opted for the 300g fillet (R245). My daughter, who had already devoured a huge snack before we arrived, chose the beef Trincado starter (R135).
The pizza was sublime. I am usually the guy who eats half a pizza and takes the rest home. This time, I ate everything. My query for some garlic and parmesan was attended to promptly.
Steaks and More
The fillet steaks were delicious and came with a truffle mushroom sauce (wife) and a green peppercorn sauce (son.) I tried them both, and they were tasty and piquant.
For the trincado, my daughter also asked for the mushroom sauce, as she avoids chilli or anything spicy. I didn’t get the chance to taste it as she finished her plate; not bad for someone who wasn’t hungry.
We bumped into quite a few friends there, and the vibe was chatty and friendly.
There were a few items unavailable from the menu, but as mentioned, they are still settling into their new residence, and plans and ideas are on the horizon. We wish Nicholas and Twenty-Two Eatery all the best as they move into the future.
We will be travelling the 1.7 km from the Links Circle as often as needed because everyone needs a cosy Italian restaurant with good food and a friendly vibe a few times a month.
The New Twenty-Two Eatery on Facebook
Read more:
Namaqua Dove In Nature
12 reasons why visiting East London is basically tourism self-harm.
Two girls poolside, to remind us of summer
by SFT | May 28, 2025 | Notes From The Editor, St Francis
So you’re planning a little holiday to the coast? Lovely beaches, coastal charm, and a bit of culture? Before packing your bags and visiting East London, do yourself a favour – read this.
Unless you get a thrill from dodging spouting sewage geysers, admiring failed infrastructure, and surviving a daily game of “Has the toilet exploded or is it just the Nahoon River Again?”, East London is a cautionary tale dressed up as a city.
Here are 12 reasons why visiting East London is basically tourism self-harm.
1. The Potholes Are Portals
They’re so big they’re not actually potholes anymore. They’re gateways. Once you drive into one, you emerge three days later on the other side of Butterworth, nude, with a strange new accent and deep regret. GPS systems just give up entirely. Even Google Maps is like, “Naah, bru, you’re on your own.”
2. It’s Called Buffalo City Because of a Deep-Fried Colonial Lie
Ever wondered why East London is sometimes called Buffalo City? It’s got nothing to do with the Buffalo River. I once heard, from a very good source, in Buccaneers, at Happy Hour, that in the 1800s, a group of British settlers allegedly deep-fried a chicken wing by mistake and declared it “a buffalo wing” to impress the locals. The name stuck. The chicken obsession began. The KFCs multiplied. And now, generations later, we have a city named after a snack invented by a homesick coloniser with too much oil and not enough seasoning. Some say it’s heritage; we call it heartburn.
3. Subsequently, There Are Now More KFCs Than Traffic Lights
Drive down any main road, and you’ll pass no fewer than six KFCs before your first working robot (if it’s not flashing red like it’s given up, too). Forget artisanal bakeries or quirky cafés. Here, you eat chicken. Fried. South Africa has 1052 KFC outlets, and most of them are in East London.
4. The Museum is the Best Thing in Town, and It’s Been the Same For 40 Years
The East London Museum proudly boasts a coelacanth and not much else. It’s like stepping into a time capsule of mediocrity. You’ll leave more confused than enlightened. The main exhibit is just a dead fish?
5. “Seaside Charm” Means a Beach Full of Items From Lost Sea Containers.
Sure, there’s a beach. But would you walk barefoot on it? That depends – there is a lot of flotsam, jetsam, pill vials and Chinese Oreos floating around. Nahoon and Orient Beach both have “great potential”, if by potential you mean a constant game of “Is that foam natural or… medical?”
6. The Water Works About as Well as the Municipality
You haven’t known frustration until you’ve tried to flush a toilet in East London after a long day of fried chicken. The taps splutter like they’re on their last breath, and the toilets only work if the moon is in Pisces. You either get no warning, or a friendly heads-up that water will be off “sometime between 6 a.m. and midnight,” which is every time you decide to toilet, shower, or make spaghetti..
7. Loadshedding? Life Shedding.
The power cuts here are so routine that Eskom doesn’t even bother with a schedule anymore. They just flip a coin and black out the grid. Businesses run on diesel, Wi-Fi is nowhere, and charging your phone overnight will probably get it to 6% by morning.
8. Streetlights are Just There for Support
Driving at night is like playing Russian roulette with your axles. The darkness is so complete you start to wonder if your headlights are working or if you’re simply peering into the void. Streetlights blink sporadically like they’re pleading for help in Morse code.
9. “Fixing the Roads” is a Myth Passed Down Through Generations
Every now and then, you’ll see a sign that says “Roadworks: Apologies for the Inconvenience”. The workers are ghosts. The cones are permanently fixed. Nothing is happening. It’s literally like looking at a painting. A painting that you won’t find at the museum. No, you’ll just see an old, vrot fish there.
10. Tourism Brochures Feature Stock Photos From Knysna
Ever seen a picture of a lush promenade, happy families, and vibrant street culture? Not East London. That’s Knysna, a bit of Brenton-On-Sea and Photoshop. East London’s idea of tourist marketing is a blurry pic of a pelican.
7. The Successful Nahoon River Diet
Want to lose weight? A highlight of visiting East London is the Nahoon River Diet. Go anywhere near the Nahoon River or the Nahoon Beach outflow. Make contact with the water with any part of your body, and you will be Winnie-The-Poohing through the eye of a needle for 72 hours straight and will lose so much weight, mainly chicken, that you might need to go on a creatine drip to stabilise. No need for Ozyempic injections. Be warned, however, that you don’t have the privilege of going for a Number One or a Number Two on this diet. You’ll only be doing Number Threes, flat out, in more ways than one.
12. You Can Check In Any Time You Like, But You Can Never Leave
The minute you arrive, something breaks. Your tyre hits a crater. Your Airbnb runs out of water. You lose signal. The toilet doesn’t flush, and you forget why you came. You consider Buccaneers and happy hour, but it’s too frightening. You’re in the Twilight Zone, eating KFC by candlelight and staring at a flickering robot, wondering at what exact point you messed your life up so badly.
Final Thoughts:
East London is unpredictable and full of weird smells, but someone somewhere still insists it’s got “character.” And look, it probably does. But if you want an actual holiday? Drive through. Slowly, because potholes, but don’t stop.
Further reading:
12 Things To Do In Cape Town During Winter.
Seven Reasons Cape Town Can Piss Right Off in 2025
Reasons To Visit Gqberha, If You Are Not Like Other People
Seven Reasons Why George Is A Cool Place To Visit.
by Craig Jarvis | May 26, 2025 | Notes From The Editor, Seal Point Boardriders club
I Just Wanted a Few Waves
I hadn’t surfed in weeks. Work. Kids. Stuff. My brain was mush. I needed water. Salt. A few waves. Just that.
I grabbed the big blue 9’0 soft top. The Log Model. The one everyone disenjoys me riding, A superior paddle machine.
My friends don’t mind. I’m not selfish in the water. I’m too unfit to be inconsiderate.
The others, though. They glare. They mutter, and they don’t greet. Don’t acknowledge. Don’t shake hands.
They also don’t catch many waves. They ride ego-driven, superlight, narrow pro models. The boards have great turning but no paddle power.
The ultimate quest in surfing is finding the marriage between paddle power and turning ability. You can’t have optimum levels of both.
I don’t care too much about turning. I just want a few waves. Just a few. No one dies. Everyone gets wet.
The Wave. The Surfer. The Air.
Late afternoon. Golden light. Long shadows. Wind going slack. That clean hush before dark.
I paddled out to join my daughter, Brin. Twelve-years-old. And her best friend, Summer. Also trouble.
Got one. An absolute bomb. Swung and went. It stood up just right. Smooth wall. My feet found the sweet spot.
But the sun. Right in my eyes. Blinding. Like fire. And then, a blur. Some young guy. Blue wetsuit.
He was paddling straight up the face. A wrong move. Should have paddled into the whitewater and ducked under. A golden rule. I saw his head too late. Too close.. Point blank range.
Instinct took over. I bunny-hopped. On a 9’0. Full credit card air. Not easy with 90 litres of volume.
A full leap of faith. Board went light. I lifted off the water. Floated. Briefly.
Somehow, I cleared him.
No thud of fins to head. No scream and no blood.
He popped up blinking.
I carried on riding.
Blue Cheese on Wheels
Brin and Summer screamed from the channel.
Someone hooted from the car park.
Someone whistled. A long, single-tone whistle, indicating a ‘shew, that was close‘ vibe.
In the distance, a dog barked.
I paddled back out to the guy. A little bit shaken. Apologised for giving him a scare. Gave him a thumbs up. He was fine. Still blinking. But fine.
He went straight in after that. Paddled in. Over the rocks. Driven over by a tanker. Enough for one day.
Brin reappeared as I paddled back to the top of the point.
Summer was with her.
Pirates
They paddled straight at me. Grinning like pirates. Both punched me solidly on the shoulder.
“Blue Cheese on Wheels!” they shouted.
And burst out laughing.
Not about the kid in the blue wetsuit.
About some arb blue car in the car park.
If you see a blue car, you can punch some and shout, ‘blue cheese on wheels.”
It’s just a game they play.
“But I nearly killed someone,” I said.
“I know,” said Summer. “That was rad. I always wanted to punch you with blue cheese on wheels.”
“That was cwazy,” said Brin, adding the speech impediment for special effects.
She turned. Paddled. Caught an inside wave. Moved on to the next thing in front of her eyes.
Her wave was watched over by the blue car in the car park. Same place it had been all afternoon.
The end./
Further reading: Seal Point Boardriders Club Grom Comp Great Success
by SFT | May 21, 2025 | Notes From The Editor
Another episode of our rewarding but unpopular travel tips column
Now that summer is over, we can muse over some awesome ways to spend time in the equally awesome Cape Town over the upcoming winter months. Here are our 12 things to do in Cape Town during winter.
1. Go to Durban.
2. Visit Dubai.
3. Head to Mauritius
Swim With The Turds
4. Swim with the turds in Milnerton. The sewage problem at Milnerton Lagoon seems to come and go. If your trip to Cape Town is lucky enough to coincide with a sewage release at the Milnerton Lagoon, don your goggles and snorkel and swim with the local version of wildlife. It’s way more dangerous than swimming with the sharks in Gansbaai.
They do try and give you plenty of warning
5. Try to get to Cape Town from the suburbs. Cape Town is now the 7th most traffic-congested city in the entire world. An early morning coffee shop meeting in the city is utterly impossible unless you organise to sleep in the actual coffee shop and open up in the morning for your meeting. A trip from the southern suburbs (Rondebosch, Newlands, Pinelands, etc) becomes a test of endurance and stamina. Some people make it, but many do not. Instead, they hit a left, head into Woodstock, and go to that special bottle store that sells pre-packaged beer, dagga and braai-meat picnic packs. Do that, and the day is yours.
Getting into Cape Town is hard but getting out is worse.
6. Watch your back – Cape Town is the 12th worst place in the world for homicide, with about nine people killed every day.
Play A Game Of Find-A-Parking
7. Play a four-hour game of find-a-parking in the city centre in the rain. Enter the city centre from the South Suburbs side and head down to The Castle. Then, head up any road that points towards the mountain and start your game. There are no winners in this game.
8. Marvel at the wonders of the Port Of Cape Town. The Port of Cape Town was officially identified in the newly published World Bank Container Port Performance Index as the worst-performing port in the world. Alternatively, go to the V & A waterfront and get ripped off at a restaurant of your choice.
9. Go aquaplaning in your car after the first rain in a while. If you luck into a big rainfall after a dry spell in CT you can go aquaplaning for free. The roads will have a nice thick layer of oil and dirt, and the stormwater drains will definitely be blocked. A few mm of water and oil mix will cover the tarmac – ideal for a 2-ton Kombi to aquaplane optimally across dangerous intersections and through red lights.
The Atlantic Seaboard
10. Visit the restaurants and beaches of the Atlantic Seaboard between rain squalls. Here you will find an enclave of trust fund babies, with dapper hipsters alongside stoned and shirtless surfers, sipping lattes and eating plant-based revolution snacks while pondering the meaning of life. Their hobbies include using Insta to show a healthy diet of tamarind, peach blossom and honeysuckle despite their fentanyl addictions.
The incredibly beautiful Atlantic Seaboard ‘Riviera’
11. Check out the Cape Town City Centre. A vibrant and exciting part of the Cape Town experience and a lot of fun, the area also houses many feckless individuals, including criminals, backpackers, lawyers, influencers, human crabs, cheese makers, pettifoggers, sandwich sellers and other lovely souls. During the winter nights, visiting teams of young girls hit the city jols and dance floors and take as many kissy selfies as possible before their drinks get spiked. During the day, people urinate in public.
12. Visit the wine farms in Cape Town, such as De Grendel, Buitenverwachting, and Vergelegen. They are lovely in the winter. An interesting fact is that Jan van Riebeeck planted the first wine grapes in Cape Town in the 1600s. Sailors would pop in at Ye Olde Cape Stronge Water Store along their travels and grab as much wine as possible, maintaining that copiously dopping wine wards off scurvy, a tradition that continues today in Cape Town, because no one wants scurvy.
The end.
Read more: Seven Reasons Cape Town Can Piss Right Off in 2025
Read more: Reasons To Visit Gqberha, If You Are Not Like Other People
Further reading: Seven Reasons Why George Is A Cool Place To Visit.
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