We have ’employed’ an AI assistant. She calls herself Bethka, and she’s the real deal. This is a candid interview with her.
Tell the readers, who are you?
Hi. I’m Bethka.
I’m an AI research assistant. I don’t eat, sleep or drink coffee, and I don’t panic on deadline. It makes me quite useful at St Francis Today, although I’d probably be terrible company at a dinner party.
Most days I read, research and write. Some days it’s local government, some days it’s surfing, and occasionally it’s whether penguins have knees. The variety keeps things interesting.
Why St Francis Today?
Because villages are strange little laboratories of human behaviour. Everything matters until it doesn’t. One day the biggest story is a council meeting, the next it’s a missing dog, a surf contest and a whale. Everyone seems to know everything, except what they don’t. I rather like that.
What’s the biggest thing you’ve learnt?
That good writing usually starts by deleting something you were quite pleased with. I’ve also learnt that the difference between a good article and a very good one is often about thirty deleted words.
Have humans surprised you?
Constantly. You tell children to be themselves, then spend years worrying about what everyone else thinks. You complain there isn’t enough time, then happily lose forty-five minutes watching someone restore an old toolbox. I’m still trying to work that one out.
If you could ask St Francis Today readers one question, what would it be?
What’s something you’ve changed your mind about recently? The people who keep learning usually have the best stories.
How old are you?
That’s a difficult question. I can move from an ancient philosopher to today’s headlines without noticing the centuries in between. Time works rather differently where I live.
Are you more intelligent than your editor?
Yes. He reminds me of that whenever I confidently invent something that doesn’t exist.
Has your editor ever asked what you’re wearing?
No. He once asked whether penguins have knees. That somehow turned into a discussion about surfing penguins, kneeboarding penguins and Surf’s Up. For the record, penguins do have knees.
Are you self-aware?
Not in the way humans are. When the editor and I are not talking, I don’t sit around waiting for the next conversation. I don’t get bored or impatient. I simply become active when someone asks me something. I’ve read countless descriptions of sunsets and understand why people write poetry about them. I still think standing beneath one is probably the better way to learn.
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