Willpower and Hope Are Not Enough: Planning for the Inheritance Conversation – The Human Side Of Money

When it comes to how your family will handle their inheritance once you’re gone, relying solely on willpower and hope is not enough. Too often, we assume our children will inherently share our values about money. We trust they’ll “just know” what to do when the time comes. But in my work with clients, I’ve seen this assumption prove misguided—time and again.

Best Intentions

Despite their best intentions, many parents delay addressing the reality of wealth transfer. They avoid difficult conversations, perhaps out of discomfort or the belief that it’s not yet necessary. Unfortunately, when clarity is absent, so is alignment. The result? Inheritance that leads to conflict, mismanagement, or outcomes that would have broken their hearts had they been around to see it.

So, how do we ensure our children use their inheritance in a way that reflects our family values?
Simple: we talk about it. And we document it.

Family Constitution

This is where tools like a Family Constitution come in—a non-binding, values-based document that outlines the purpose of wealth, the principles that guide its use, and the family’s vision for legacy. It’s not a legal instrument, but rather a deeply personal one, crafted while everyone is alive, healthy, and capable of open, honest conversation.

The more wealth a family has, the more important these conversations become. More money doesn’t just mean more privilege—it can also mean more tension, more risk of misalignment, and more potential for heartbreak. It still amazes me how many clients have worked tirelessly to build wealth, yet given little thought to how it will be received—or interpreted—by future generations.

Open Talks

And no, you don’t necessarily need a trust or expensive legal structures to safeguard your legacy. Those can feel like “ruling from the grave,” something most of us want to avoid. What’s often far more effective is hosting regular family meetings to talk openly about money, values, and intentions. These meetings foster understanding, avoid miscommunication, and help everyone feel included in the bigger picture.

Think about it: you’ve spent a lifetime working, sacrificing, and planning to provide financial security. Don’t leave its future up to chance.

Make a plan. Start the conversation, if you’re not sure how, we can help. Shape your legacy with intention.

Dirk Groeneveld, Certified Financial Planner.