These are the Monthly Kouga Municipality Service Delivery Highlights for March 2025.
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A new kind of entertainment is coming to the Eastern Cape. The Neptune’s Fortune, the world’s first fully floating casino, will drop anchor off St. Francis Bay next month. The luxury vessel promises high-stakes games, world-class dining, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience, just a short boat ride from shore. (Life jackets are necessary for the crossing.)
The floating casino, operated by Ocean Luxe Entertainment, will visit select South African destinations. St. Francis Bay is a surprise addition to the itinerary. “We wanted a place with natural beauty, a wonderful, upbeat community, and an appetite for adventure,” said CEO Marco DeSnollie. “St. Francis Bay was the perfect fit.”
Visitors won’t find this casino on land. Only guests with pre-booked reservations can board. A private ferry will transport lucky players from the St. Francis canals or the port to the ship. “Think Monte Carlo, but on water,” said VIP host Plenty Sonia. “Champagne, blackjack, and ocean views—it’s a dream.”
The Neptune’s Fortune boasts a five-star restaurant, live jazz, and a heated infinity pool overlooking the open sea. Its casino floor features poker, roulette, and a slot machine rumoured to pay out the odd gold coins. “We take luxury seriously,” said head croupier Jack Crapper.
Not everyone is thrilled. “Gambling at sea? What if it attracts poachers?” asked St. Francis resident Johnny Rotten. Others are excited. “Finally, a reason to wear my tuxedo!” said a local longtime surfer Sid Vicious, who also asked to remain anonymous to avoid any suspicion going forward.
The Neptune’s Fortune will visit for one weekend only, towards the end of April. Reservations have been fairly brisk so far.
Read More: Single-Use Plastics Found On Mars
Read More: CERN Announces Plans for Massive Hadron Collider in EC
National Lottery here
NASA officially asks the question: Is there life on Mars?
NASA scientists made an unusual discovery this week. The Perseverance rover, currently exploring Jezero Crater, transmitted images of what appeared to be artificial debris. Further analysis confirmed the presence of several small plastic fragments embedded in the Martian soil.
At first, mission specialists suspected contamination from previous landers. However, preliminary tests ruled out any known Earth-based materials. The fragments’ composition differed slightly from standard polyethylene, showing signs of prolonged exposure to extreme radiation.
“This is not what we expected,” said Dr. Eric Cartman, lead materials analyst at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. “We take extraordinary precautions to prevent terrestrial contamination. Yet, these plastics are present, and we must understand why.”
The discovery has sparked debate in the scientific community. Some experts suggest that powerful solar winds may have carried microscopic Earth debris into space, eventually depositing it on Mars. Others propose a more radical theory: that these materials predate human space exploration entirely.
NASA has launched a full-scale investigation. Spectroscopic analysis and high-resolution imaging will determine the origin and age of the fragments. Meanwhile, international space agencies are reviewing past missions to rule out accidental contamination.
“This raises important questions,” said Dr. Cartman. “If it is possible, as has been asked so many times before, was there actually life on Mars? These finds seem to resemble a plastic fork, a spoon and a stirrer.”
Judging by the findings, it would seem that if there had been life on Mars, it would have been a very primitive civilisation, as it would not have been concerned for its environment.
The Perseverance team has redirected part of its mission to study the anomaly further. Additional data is expected in the coming weeks.
While unexpected, NASA has assured the public that this finding does not compromise ongoing research into past microbial life. However, the discovery highlights a new challenge in planetary exploration: single-use plastics find a way even in the vast emptiness of space.
Report filed by NASA correspondent David Bowie.
Read more: Floating Casino for St Francis Bay
Read more: CERN Announces Plans for Massive Hadron Collider in EC
CERN scientists have confirmed a bold new project. The world’s next-generation particle collider will not be in Europe. It will be built in South Africa.
Officials announced today that Thyspunt, a remote coastal site previously considered for a nuclear power plant, is now the preferred location for a massive Hadron Collider, the Ultra Hadron Collider (UHC). The facility will be nearly three times the size of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). It will probe the deepest mysteries of the universe.
“This is the perfect site,” said Dr. Hans Christian Anderson, lead physicist on the project. “It has stable geology, minimal electromagnetic interference, and great views of the ocean. This is not a fairy tale.”
The UHC will stretch over 100 kilometers underground, with the head at Thyspunt making it the largest scientific structure on Earth. Engineers will construct a massive underground ring beneath the Eastern Cape. There will be research facilities in Jeffrey’s Bay and St. Francis Bay.
Local leaders expressed both excitement and concern. “This could put our region on the map,” said Thyspunt community spokesperson, Ms. Gemima Duck. “But we need assurances that surfers won’t start glowing, especially during the night.”
Opposition groups have already raised questions. “What happens if they accidentally create a black hole?” asked activist Carl Quack. “We all saw that movie Event Horizon.”
CERN officials dismissed such fears. “We’ve done this before,” said project coordinator Dr. Neil van de Aas. “When building a massive Hadron Collider, the worst thing that happened last time was a minor power surge at a local coffee shop.”
Construction is set to begin in 2026. Once complete, the Ultra Hadron Collider will operate for decades, unlocking the secrets of dark matter, quantum gravity, and why toast always lands butter-side down.
“We’re on the edge of a new frontier,” said Dr. Christian Anderson, “And if all goes well, we won’t accidentally teleport J-Bay into another dimension, of Thumbelinas, of Little Mermaids, of Ugly Ducklings.”
When it comes to building and preserving wealth over the long term, global equities stand out as the only asset class that has consistently outperformed inflation. While cash loses value over time, and bonds may struggle to keep pace with rising prices, global equities have historically delivered strong, positive real returns. This makes them an essential component of any long-term investment strategy, particularly for retirees who need their savings to last several decades.
One simple way to grasp the power of global equities is to take a look inside your fridge or bathroom cabinet. The products you use daily—whether it’s a soft drink, toothpaste, or shampoo—are made by multinational companies traded on global stock markets. Investing in global equities means owning a share of these businesses, benefiting from their growth and innovation. From consumer staples to cutting-edge technology, global equities represent the entrepreneurial drive that fuels human progress.
At its core, the stock market is a reflection of human ingenuity. Companies are constantly evolving, finding better ways to solve problems, improve efficiency, and create value. Global equities embody this spirit of innovation, as businesses adapt to changing consumer needs and technological advancements. Over time, this relentless pursuit of progress has translated into significant wealth creation for long-term investors.
A common concern for retirees is market volatility, but history provides reassurance. Someone retiring at 60 today could have a 40-year investment horizon. Over any long-term period, global equities have never been negative. While short-term downturns are inevitable, markets have always recovered, rewarding patient investors who stay the course. The lesson is clear: timing the market is far less important than time in the market.
Investors often worry about political events, particularly leadership changes in the United States. However, the global equity market does not care who the president of America is. Markets are driven by corporate earnings, innovation, and consumer demand—not political cycles. While headlines may cause temporary fluctuations, the broader trend of global economic growth remains intact.
For those seeking long-term financial security, global equities remain the best vehicle for wealth accumulation. They offer protection against inflation, exposure to the world’s most successful companies, and a stake in the ongoing story of human progress. By embracing global equities, investors position themselves for a future of opportunity and growth, regardless of short-term uncertainty.
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Dirk Groeneveld, Certified Financial Planner.
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