To commit a crime can be forgiven if one shows remorse and undertakes never to commit further crimes. Crossing that fine line a second time is not a habit but an intentional act and simply cannot be excused. A third transgression and now it has become a habit and the perpetrator can now be considered a hardened criminal. In some states in the US it is ‘three strikes and you’re out’ and locked up for 15 years to life.
Well yesterday I finally became that hardened criminal. Over the past 72 years I have been fortunate enough to avoid a life of crime and thus have never been arrested or convicted. Ooops once way back in the mid-70’s I was threatened with arrest for failing to pay a speeding ticket not realizing it was in fact a summons. But the cops took pity and gae me a warning to appear in court in Grahamstown at 9:00 am the next morning so I guess that doesn’t count.
On my very latest unlawful acts I have managed to avoid arrest but if the habit persists the law of averages will kick in and my continued disregard for the law will destroy my chances of completing ‘Bucket List’ for with a criminal record never will I be allowed to enter Aussie or New Zealand to watch the ‘Boks triumph over our southern rivals.
Securing employment too could prove difficult although there is hope I am told of securing a seat in parliament as a MP. Another option, although that was a few years back, would have been to get a job as an operative in State Security SA. I have it on good authority that when you were short of cash you simply could put in a request and they would give you a couple of million in cash, no questions asked
And so to my criminal acts ,all three of them.
Those who know me will attest that I enjoy a beer at 5:00 pm come rain or shine. And so with lockdown Stage 3 I was ill prepared and found myself sans beer early this week. After some deliberation and frantic phone calls I managed to secure a carry pack of ‘light beer’. Had I known it tastes about the same insipid liquid alcohol free versions I would not have risked my future with such abandonment. But the deed was done.
Now faced with a dilemma of either sitting and drinking all six beers right there and then with my savior I had to decide if I was prepared to compound my life of crime and transport liquor in my car to get it home. And so I committed my second dastardly act and drove home with the carry pack hidden under all the junk I manage to carry in my car rather than dumping it in a recycling bins. Strike #2.
Now yesterday was the most gorgeous day and as Eskom decided to cut off our electricity for the entire day the SSA saga being played out at the Zondo Commission was not an option. What else to do?
Good weather, a wide open beach totally devoid of human presence should I take a risk and compound my new found courage and lawlessness and risk Police Minister Cele who maybe hiding in the sand dunes.
Now one could say I am mobility challenged for to get to the beach I have to walk with crutches so off I stumbled on my 20 to 30 minutes to complete the journey to water’s edge. Every movement of wind in the dunes could be Cele but finally relaxed as I dipped my toes into the ocean for I was pretty certain I wasn’t facing imminent arrest. A most enjoyable dip in the water I decided to push my luck and hang about on the deserted beach a little longer plucking up the energy for the arduous journey back up the beach and home.
I delayed to walk back a lot longer than I should have probably in the hope that one of those police informer Stoep Detectives would call in my disobedience and the men in blue would pounce. Now there was certain method in hoping this would happen for those hefty cops would have to carry me off the beach saving me the pain I would endure have to get home. I doubt would have faced a few hours in the slammer and a hefty fine to say nothing of the criminal record but it would have been worth a free ride home. What the heck at 72 years old who actually cares.